Wednesday, January 23, 2013

I'll never eat in a carpeted restaurant again....

Let me tell you about our latest experience while dining out with the kids.

Let me preface this with a warning, if you can't tolerate hearing about "bodily functions"...then I'd slip on over to my Pinterest and look at shoes or crafts instead of reading this!  I'll also say that, even though there's this penchant in our family for talking about gross things during dinner, I'm not telling this to gross anyone's just that I gleaned a lesson from the experience and wanted to share.

And I promise no related imagery will accompany this story.  I'll try to keep it short and sweet...

So we hemmed and hawed about where to go eat last Sunday.  Since our diet shift, we've axed many eateries for unavoidable grains like pizza joints and sandwiches, and bad cooking oils...which is pretty  much everywhere.  Basically we eat at Chipotle, sushi places when we can afford it, and once in a blue moon we go have Indian food just BECAUSE!

We ended up at Korma Sutra in Westport, and we'd just been set in the booth and were having papadum and chutney when this mom and her 7-8 year old stood up to exit the dining room.  I'd noticed them getting their final bit of food, a piece of frozen mango on a toothpick, that they hand out after dinner along with complimentary rice pudding, halva and chai.  As they stood up...(and here's where you'll want to exit because it's going to get gross...) the girl projectile vomits a 6 foot stream of half-chewed Indian food across the restaurant.  She narrowly missed the two ladies in the booth behind us...I sat there in awe, as did Gen, as she gave back her meal in 2 incredible barfing sessions.  The mom goes, "I am SO sorry!!!" as she escorted her now empty child back to the bathroom.

We gazed at each other across the table and bounced ideas back and forth.  Food poisoning? Flu? Sheer excess??  The waiter came and draped a table cloth across the lovelines on the floor and they promptly invited us to move to the other side of the restaurant, we obliged.  I said, "I'll go THIS way!" as I pointed to the direction AWAY from the barf piles.  We relocated, as the waiter cleaned...and the girl and her mother came out of the bathroom...the girl appeared "fine" as she bopped toward the front door on OUR SIDE of the restaurant.  She  looked back at the man cleaning up her mess, I think she was very embarrassed and wanted out of there.  Her mom hesitated at the desk, I think she might have slipped them a $20, I'm not sure!  I thought, "Oh child, if you have the flu...keep on movin'!"  Poor thing, I felt bad for her but wanted her far away from our table!

Gen kept talking about "pooky" and said, "The man clean it up".  She doesn't miss anything.  I kept replaying the scene in my head and hoped that it wasn't the food itself that made her sick.  I ate a small plate of food, stopped before I was even half-full.  I beleive it was excess...a 7 year old stomach piled with rice, naan, greasy appetizers, chicken in goo sauce, rice pudding, mango lassi...on and on, it has to go somewhere, and I think once the rice expanded the dam just broke! But why didn't she run outside?  How did she go from smiling and eating her frozen hurling at high speed!  I'd never seen anything like it in my least, in real life.  It reminded me of the cherry scene from "Witches of Eastwick".  Yes.  THAT bad.  Or maybe the pie eating contest from "Stand By Me". 

I watched as people walked in and out of the restaurant to get carry out...walking through the (albeit cleaned up) mess.  It made me want to never wear shoes in my house again.  You never know what you're walking through...and these people picking up their meals were walking through someone else's meal and didn't know it.  Gross.  And adding to this, a few days earlier I had the kids out in the yard and Miso brought in a little dog poo on her boots and I didn't notice until it was literally all over the dining room, on my white bath mat, and all over her hands and her brother's too!  A child and house cleaning ensued...obviously.

What else do we bring into our homes on the bottom of our shoes?  It's quickly becoming "not worth it" to even go out to eat, outside of Chipotle!  I like a concrete, wood and steel eatery that can be hosed down at the end of the night. a restaurant, just gross...

So much for short and sweet.  :) Speaking of short and sweet...I've gone legit on my kefir soda and started making labels.  Explosively delicous!

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